When You Feel Like Giving Up
At four in the morning, wrapped tight under my blankets, the last thing I’m excited about is getting up for work. Groping to shut off the alarm before it wakes up my fiance, all I can think about is the fact that I won’t be able to get back under those covers for another sixteen hours; if I’m lucky. I have thought about quitting in that four o’clock hour more times than I’d like to admit. However, there is one thing that fills my lungs with a reluctant sigh and kicks my butt out of bed every morning. My dreams. Kind of ironic right? Dreaming is what you do when you’re asleep, cozy in bed, without a worry or stress in the world. But that’s where they’ll be happy to stay unless you wake up, get up, and do something about being alive. Here are some ways that I have learned to dig deep and keeping fighting for a life I believe in:
I have worked at the local coffee shop for ten years. There are times when I’d rather stab myself in the eye with a fork instead of clocking in for another shift. Taping on a smile becomes its own unique form of torture. But then I tell myself I am throwing a pity party and am succumbing to negativity. The truth is, I cannot tell you how many beautiful people I have built relationships with because of this “stupid” job. Taking the time to be kind a few minutes every day has invited me into so many stories that I can both learn from and be inspired by.
Nikki is one of them. Being an independent artist in any form is hard work, and a successful one even more so. No matter what she has to tackle that day, she is always positive and driven about doing it, and that is something I admire and am inspired by often. So whenever I groan about having to bid my time until I can work on my “real” work, I stop and remind myself that I never know who I will get to meet at the shop, and what impact they will have on my journey, be it knowledge or more.
When I clock out from the coffeeshop, my work day is only getting started. Between custom artwork and building a book series, I’ve got another eight hours to put in the employment bank before I can even think about doing normal life things. Which means I rarely ever get to do normal life things. I have always been stubborn to let anyone help me and as my passions turn into legitimate business endeavors, I am excited to learn to let some of it go into the hands of others. I have to tell myself often that it’s okay to delegate or to trust someone to do it the way I would (or better!). I don’t know what I’d do without my fiance and best friends. I’ve learned to let go of what makes a good woman. If he can cook dinner and give me an extra hour to get a project done, it’s okay. If my best friend who is a business genius is willing to roll her sleeves up and help develop my vision, that’s even better. There is no shame in teamwork and encouraging each other’s vision.
There are going to be days where you feel like you have failed. There will be days that maybe you have. No matter what plunders or challenges you face you must always believe that it is only proof that there is another way of reaching your goals. Anything that’s worth doing usually requires patience and time to grow. You must understand that no one else is going to love your dreams like you do, nor will they be able to evolve them like you. You are the leader of your life and you must wake up every morning prepared to do that. Especially when it’s hard. The world is full of possibility, and you must keep trying. Life is a blessing, wake up and treat it that way. Chase your dream with a relentless passion.