The Evolution Of Love
At the time of writing this article, dark things were happening globally and I had been intent to write about the practice of universal love. However, as I sat staring at the blank page, I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that three couples in my life were falling apart, all of them uniquely heart breaking. I couldn’t ignore the fact that as much as I wanted to spread my big thoughts to the outer reaches of the internet, it wasn’t the right time. As I sat and contemplated about my loved ones who were crying themselves to sleep, I realized there was a common denominator between them all. It was the same problem that ripped my fiance and I apart before reuniting. A wrench was being thrown in our evolution of love. We all seemed to be skipping a step.
Self love is discovered and experienced as you evolve into your own human being with your own opinions and views outside of those impressionable years as a child. You grow beyond the primal love of family; the kind that is rooted in instinct. You learn what you like and dislike as an individual. You take interest in things that maybe no one else does. You form habits, make patterns, develop talents that come naturally to you and you explore your purpose. Your physical evolution progresses in step. You become distracted with your fascination with everyone else but yourself. Suddenly, you find yourself compromising and shifting your energy to win approval and acceptance from someone else. You do what you think is right, not what you know is right. The evolution of self love stops. Your life becomes an external experience before you’ve fulfilled the internal one. Maybe you start blaming your significant other for your unhappiness, or try to convince yourself that they are trying to make you something you are not. Your insecurities are mirrored in their every day life, everything that you find annoying about Self is brought out in your significant other. You can no longer see what you once admired in them because you are seeking to find what you admire about yourself. You return to the step you skipped, only now it’s contorted.
Unconditional love cannot be understood through someone else first. It is a practice that must be mastered within. It’s an experience you learn along the road of self discovery. When you no longer wish to love someone who is exactly like you it is because you have already loved that essence within. Instead, you are capable of truly exploring something, someone, different simply for what and who they are. Their experiences and opinions and views become something you can learn from. You evolve and make each other better. The world can seem vast and beautiful inside of their expression.
Do yourself a favor. Stop and look in the mirror. Smile. Wrap your arms around yourself and understand that you are perfect. You are a collection of magnetism and stardust. The universe would never waste it’s energy forming something unnecessary. Find out the purpose of your existence. If you are single, promise to understand your soul a little better. Experience compassion of self. If you are in a relationship, turn from the mirror and look at your partner. Look at them as a mirror also. Embrace all of the things you were tearing down. Love the your imperfections that are mirrored in their face. Then look them in the eyes and see who they are without you and love them too. Embrace your partner. You picked them for a reason. Remember it.