Why I Don’t Want a Fairytale Love
When I was younger, I pretty much thought my world was a Disney movie. I lived my life as if The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast were the epitome of love. I had a picture of what love was in my head and not one person could convince me differently. Every story had all loose ends tied up and life was grand. I had that picture in my mind until sometime in middle school or maybe even high school when my heart was broken a few times and there was no way that love was like a Disney movie. It was just one big mess.
Love is not easy. On paper or in pictures, life for every couple looks great. Many of us (myself included) have this image of love built up in our minds. It is the image we all see of the beautiful couple holding hands on the beach, perfect smiles on their faces and not a care in the world. A dream come true. But think about if we took a picture of that same couple in the heat of an argument or on a bad day. Would it look easy? Would it look like something you would want to be a part of? Probably not. The reality is that you take two completely imperfect people, put them together in a close, intimate relationship and expect no confrontations, no arguments, and pure bliss…yep, that is a mess just waiting to happen. It is a good mess though.
I have been married for 8 ½ years. My love and marriage are not perfect but I like my mess. The beautiful mess of love I have with my husband is ours. Together we have fought for our love. We are loving, goofy, forgiving, faithful, and we just get each other. We know when to back away from an argument and when we need to tackle it right away. My husband can call me out on something or other times he tells me it is okay to be upset. He loves me for all my shortcomings and supports me even though he may not agree with me at the moment. Some days we are easy to love each other and other days it seems more difficult. We make a choice to choose each other every day. Jason Mraz has a song called ‘A Beautiful Mess’. It paints this picture of love that is so raw and real. It is the push and pull of love. The embracing of another human being and finding the beauty within them. That is the kind of real life love that exists. It is not perfect smiles all the time or sunset strolls on the beach. It is the tough stuff that life throws at you. But it is never alone. It is having your best friend stand beside you when life throws that tough stuff at you. It is the late night laughter when you are trying to fall asleep or the lazy Saturday morning coffee. It is “I am sorry” or “Please forgive me?” Love is far from easy and definitely not a fairy tale. It takes daily work and dedication but is so worth it.
Do I still want that Disney movie love I dreamed of as a child? No, not anymore. I will take my mess any day.